


Honey and the Moon

by GhostLightIfYouWill



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24159982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostLightIfYouWill/pseuds/GhostLightIfYouWill
Summary: Sonny and Rafael's relationship is complicated, to say the least. They're meant to be together, but the story of how they get there...? Well, that's one for the history books.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 38





	Honey and the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny and Rafael meet for the first time, and they fit... just like puzzle pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is smut after the break!
> 
> This is my first Barisi fic I'm posting. I love these two with my whole heart, and I want to do them justice, so pretty please provide constructive criticism. Not sure when I'll post the next parts (or how); I'm still working out some plot issues, but I'll get there. I plan on adding tags as I go; let me know if I miss any important ones. Enjoy!
> 
> Find me on Twitter: @breathemusicin
> 
> Title of chapter from Puzzle Pieces by Tiger Trap.  
> Title of the story from Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur.

**Saturday, July 18, 2004**

**Woodhouse Lodge, Greenville, NY**

**8:30 PM**

Rafael Barba is sitting at the bar, fourth— fifth? — scotch in hand. Briefly he recognizes that the band is playing some jazz tunes now. He’s grateful the happy couple chose a decent band with a relatively expansive repertoire. The sound is vague, almost like an afterthought to his alcohol-addled brain. He’s swimming happily in brass and bass and booze when that bliss is interrupted almost painfully by a grating voice and a body settling onto the barstool next to him. 

“So, you must be friends with the groom, huh?” 

Rafael groans internally. The last thing he needs is some young, dumb boy from Staten Island, by the sound of it, ruining what's left of an already shitty night. 

“I am. What are you, a detective?” Rafael snarks, laughing shallowly.

“Actually, yeah,” Sonny says, all smiles. “Well, sorta. I will be someday.” 

Rafael looks this kid up and down. All long limbs that seem to go on forever. Sandy brown hair sits atop a sweet, innocent face, with a mouth that Rafael could only describe as made for sin. He’s pretty, Rafael will give him that, but he wishes he wouldn’t open his mouth. 

“I’m sure,” Rafael mumbles. 

“No, really. I’m just on patrol now, but I’ll sit for the detective exam as soon as I can.” 

“Good for you—”

“Sonny. Sonny Carisi. I’m Gina’s little brother.”

“Right.” 

Sonny extends his hand to Rafael with the intent of giving him a firm and controlled handshake. After all, you only get one first impression, Sonny believes. Deliberately and demonstrably— as is his M.O.— Rafael looks at Sonny’s outstretched hand, back up to his face… down to his hand, back up to his face. Sonny rolls his eyes good-naturedly and withdraws his hand, making no show of being offended. 

“And you are?” 

Rafael heaves a dramatic sigh. 

“Rafael. Barba. I’m an attorney.” 

“A _lawyer_ ,” Sonny says, almost marveling. “I could never, ever do that. Where did you go?” 

“Harvard.” 

“Oh, so you’re _smart_.” 

“I’m sitting here talking to _you._ How smart can I possibly be?” 

“If you want me to go, I’ll go,” Sonny offers. 

“I didn’t say that,” Rafael says, almost a little too quickly. 

“What’s it like? Being a lawyer, I mean?”

“It’s not for the faint of heart. I work sex crimes in Brooklyn. I’m the best ADA they have, and they know it.” 

“Oh. Sex crimes. That sounds interesting,” Sonny says, choosing his words deliberately. 

“That’s a word for it.” 

“I want to work sex crimes. Imagine that. Me the detective, you the ADA. We’d make a hell of a team, I think.” 

“Nice thought, isn’t it?” Rafael says, the smirk only slightly condescending. 

“Yeah, it is. Tell me more about yourself.” 

“Do I really look like a man who discusses his personal life with strange men?” 

“I’m not so strange,” Sonny says, smiling, all shiny lips and white teeth. 

“You _want_ to work sex crimes. You’re strange.” 

“ _You_ work sex crimes.” 

“Touche. Carisi, you’re not an idiot, I’ll give you that. Hell, you might even make a good lawyer yourself.” 

“Thanks, Rafael,” Sonny says, blushing. 

“If you tell _anyone_ I said that, I will have you drawn and quartered.” 

“Isn’t torture a crime under the New York penal code?”

“Yeah, it’s a federal offense too, but who’s gonna prosecute me?” 

“Me. When I’m a lawyer.”

The grin that accompanies that statement hits Rafael straight in the gut, but he returns the smile. 

“I like you, Carisi.” 

He’d blame that last statement on the alcohol. By this point, Rafael has consumed two more drinks, and the music has gotten even more distant, and his thoughts are swimming in the deep end now. And even worse, this Staten Island accent is growing on him. Rafael finds himself wanting to know _more_ . To know _who_ this boy is, what makes him tick. To know what other noises that mouth can make. He bets they’re awfully pretty noises, low groans that would reverberate right next to his ear and send shivers down his spine and make his hairs stand on end. 

“Dance with me?” Sonny asks, extending a hand to Rafael. 

“I’m not nearly drunk enough to risk my reputation like that.” 

“I won’t embarrass you, I promise. I know how to move my body,” Sonny smirks. 

“Not what I meant. I don’t doubt you know how to use that body.” 

It’s a flirtation and a rejection wrapped up in one neat statement. _Nobody does it better than Rafael Barba._

“So you’re still in the closet, huh?” Sonny guesses. 

“Who said I was even gay, hmm?” 

“You did with the way you were eye fucking me while I was dancing with my friends.” 

“I wasn’t—” 

“Don’t lie to me. You’re talking to a future detective-slash-lawyer, remember?”

“Right,” Rafael says, giving Sonny nothing more. 

“Is it a work thing?” 

Rafael hums noncommittally.

“More of a family thing,” he comments, offering nothing more. “What’s your fascination with cracking my sexuality like it’s some sort of code, Carisi?”

Rafael places his drink on the bar and crosses his arms. He means to sound harsh, to try to scare Sonny off, but there’s a smile playing on his lips, and the alcohol has him so loose his body can’t help but betray his amusement and intrigue for this man, the one who’s sitting next to him, toying with his tie with those impossibly long fingers.

“You’re a puzzle, Counselor. What can I say? I like puzzles.” 

“I swear to _God,_ Sonny, if you say something about you being the missing puzzle piece to my puzzle...” Rafael says, trailing off what they both knew was an entirely empty threat and breaking into a grin, his nose scrunching and his eyes twinkling. 

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Sonny says immediately, revealing his hand to Rafael. 

He might be significantly less impaired than Rafael, but he’s certainly just as bad, if not worse, at hiding an emotion he’s feeling. 

“Who’s lying now?” 

“Definitely not me.” 

They stare each other down until they dissolve into laughter at the same time. Rafael knocks back the rest of his drink, and it burns his throat in the most delicious of ways so that he finds himself craving more of that sweet combination of pain and pleasure. He considers whether Sonny Carisi could do that for him. 

“Fuck it, let’s dance. Before you even think about it, I don’t need your commentary on my life or my choices.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it. You seem perfectly capable of making decisions on your own. I’d love to dance with you.” 

This time, Rafael is the one to extend his hand, and Sonny takes it and leads them over to a relatively secluded part of the dance floor. Most of the guests at the wedding, themselves included, are too drunk to notice or care what’s going on around them. 

Sonny places one hand on Rafael’s hip but lets Rafael take the lead. The band is playing a tune that has a fiery salsa beat. Going for broke, Rafael decides to really test Sonny’s dancing abilities, not even bothering to hide his skills or Latin flair, and Sonny keeps up, surprising Rafael thoroughly. Rafael’s eyes switch from tracking the smooth, easy movements of Sonny’s hips and his eyes, which are dancing almost as beautifully as the rest of his body. 

At the end of the song, breathing heavily, Sonny grabs both of Rafael’s hands and pulls him in close so that their foreheads are touching. 

“How is a man like you single?” Sonny asks. His eyes widen, and he frantically steps back and adds, “You _are_ single, right? I don’t wanna get up in another man’s territory.”

“Relax, Carisi. Yes, I’m single. Painfully so. But you should also know that I’m not a piece of property. Nobody owns me.” 

“Not even the DA?” 

“Okay, _maybe_ the DA. Hynes _is_ a hardass.” They share a laugh before Rafael’s tone gets serious when he says, “I mean it, though, Carisi.” 

“Understood. Can we go back to your room?” Sonny asks. “I’m afraid I can’t keep my hands off you much longer. I don’t want to scandalize my family.”

“Yes,” Rafael agrees, before thinking. “Wait, how old are you?” 

“25.” 

“Oh. You’re a baby. I can’t sleep with you.” 

“I’m an adult, I graduated college. I have a job.” 

“You were,” he pauses to do some math, which takes him longer than usual, “14 when I graduated from law school,” Rafael mumbles, shaking his head, trying to rid his brain of dark thoughts, shame, _arousal_. 

"Yeah, and?” 

“ _Fourteen_ ,” Rafael repeats, almost a hiss.

“You know, Rafael, I’d appreciate it if you had your midlife crisis on your own time.”

“I’m not— You’re too young for me.”

“Christ, okay, I get it,” Sonny says, taking his hands off Rafael’s body and stepping back. “If you decide to get over your issues some time within the next,” Sonny checks his watch, “3 hours, I’ll be around.” 

“Hey, wait—” 

“Look, Rafael,” Sonny says pointedly. “I just wanted to show you a good time.” 

Rafael swallows hard and nods. 

“Just— my room number is 27. Come over around, say, midnight?” 

“Sure you’ll still be awake?” Sonny jokes. 

“I’m not _that_ old.” 

“Just checking,” Sonny laughs. “I don’t want to be disappointed.”

“You can just say you’d rather go find someone else.” 

Sonny shakes his head and says, “No, you’re the only one I’m interested in. If you don’t want me, I’m going to go pass out in my own bed. Alone.” 

“I want you.”

“Can I kiss you?” Sonny asks. 

Rafael nods. 

“Midnight,” Rafael reminds him, but it’s a promise, really, that he’ll be there waiting for Sonny’s arrival. 

With that, Rafael returns to the bar and does two shots before going back to his room and drowning himself in alcohol taken from the minibar, charges to the room be damned. He could afford it, and he was sure that this Sonny Carisi kid would absolutely be worth every penny. 

* * *

True to his word, Sonny knocks on his door three minutes to midnight. A minute passes, and Sonny’s just about ready to turn around and leave when the door opens. Rafael is standing there, his tie loose, his eyes dilated, and his cheeks flushed in a way that makes Sonny want to reach out and touch his face, just to feel the heat, to get warm just from Rafael’s closeness. 

“Hi,” Rafael whispers. 

“Hi. How drunk are you?” Sonny asks, cocking an eyebrow and bringing a hand to rest on Rafael’s hip.

Rafael leans into the touch, tugging Sonny closer to him by his tie. Sonny has half a mind to stop him because he needs to return this suit tomorrow, but hell, it feels too good, and if he has to pay damages and work overtime to afford it, he’ll do it gladly. 

“Not drunk enough that I don’t know what I’m doing,” Rafael counters. 

“Can I come in?”

Rafael steps aside to let Sonny in. The second the door is closed, their hands are all over each other, and their mouths fit together perfectly, no hesitation, no wrong moves. Their suit jackets are tossed toward one of the chairs, and Rafael grasps at Sonny’s tie, almost too tight, to bring him closer.

“Easy, easy. Slow down. We have time, Rafael.” 

Sonny places his hands on Rafael’s chest, and Rafael nods perfunctorily and takes the opportunity to kiss along Sonny’s jawline and down his neck. He bites down particularly hard on Sonny’s pulse point, sending a wave of pleasure straight to Sonny’s dick. 

“Can I mark you?” Rafael asks, his voice low and raspy.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine,” Sonny consents.

There’s the gentlest bit of pressure from Rafael’s thumb resting on his windpipe, and Sonny tilts his head back, baring his throat even more to give Sonny a deep purple mark that is sure to last for a few days. Rafael pulls back to adire his handiwork, and Sonny can’t help but notice how sexy Rafael looks when he’s pleased, and now all he wants to do is please him, make him feel good, the best he’s ever felt. He’s determined to be the best, to get himself stuck in Rafael’s teeth, in his head, in his heart. 

“Jesus Christ,” Sonny hisses when Rafael uses his thumb to press down on the newly formed bruise. 

“You go to confession with that mouth?”

“Every Sunday, and I’d do other things with it too,” Sonny whispers, sinking to his knees. “If you’d let me, if you want me to.” 

Sonny looks up at him, asking for permission with his eyes. Rafael nods. Sonny’s hands are sure as he unzips Rafael’s pants and takes him out, only taking a moment to marvel at his impressive length, to salivate at the thought of feeling the weight of it on his tongue, and _oh god,_ Sonny bets he tastes like heaven.

Unable to wait any longer, Sonny wraps his lips around the tip and suckles gently, just to test Rafael’s sensitivities. The moment Sonny’s lips wrap around him, Rafael ascends, his eyes closing and his head falling back for a second before he reconnects with Sonny’s eyes. He swears that he’s never going to forget those big blue eyes, watery and eager, begging for Rafael to let go, to give it up for him. 

He places his hands on the dip of Rafael’s hips, runs them down his thighs with a feather-light touch, bringing them up to play with his balls. Rafael responds favorably to that action, thrusting his hips forward. He immediately withdraws as much as Sonny will let him, and Sonny almost laughs around Rafael’s cock. Instead of pulling off to give verbal consent, he guides Rafael’s hands to his hair. Rafael relaxes into this position, tightening his grip in Sonny’s hair. He pulls slightly, and Sonny whines, high-pitched and sweet. Sonny continues to work Rafael’s cock, almost to the back of his throat. When the tip hits the back of Sonny’s throat, Rafael freezes, his hands flexing where they’re woven in Sonny’s hair. 

“Stop, stop,” Rafael stutters out. Sonny pulls off and falls back onto his heels immediately, looking up at Rafael’s face, trying to suss out what the problem is. Rafael locks eyes with Sonny and senses the worry. “No, I’m okay. Your mouth is amazing. You’re incredible. I just— didn’t want to come yet. I want to come with you inside me. If that’s okay.” 

“Yeah, that’s more than okay,” Sonny agrees, nodding fervently. 

“I just— I don’t have—” Rafael says, holding his empty hands out. 

“I do,” Sonny says, reaching into his back pocket and producing lube and a condom with a triumphant grin on his face. 

“Former Boy Scout, huh?” Rafael quips, throwing Sonny a shit-eating grin of his own. 

“Eagle Scout, actually,” Sonny smirks and holds up three figures in the Scout’s Honor. 

Rafael reaches out and catches Sonny’s wrist, drawing his fingers into his mouth and sucking, tentatively at first, then coating them with saliva more deliberately. Sonny’s breath hitches when he realizes what Rafael is asking for. 

“Why don’t you put these fingers to better use for me, yeah?”

“Get on the bed.” 

“How do you want me?” 

Sonny considers this. Truthfully, he wants Rafael in any and every way he could possibly have him. 

“Hands and knees,” he decides, and Rafael complies quickly. 

Rafael hisses at the cold lube as Sonny applies some to his hole. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Sonny says, rubbing circles to warm it up. 

Rafael hums happily. He kisses the bottom of Rafael’s spine and kneads his ass a few times before pressing one finger into Rafael, slow and steady. 

“How long has it been?” Sonny asks. 

“Too long,” Rafael groans. “ _Fuuuck_ , that’s good.” 

“But you’ve done this before, right?” 

“Have you?” Rafael counters, rolling his eyes, glad that Sonny can't see him doing it.

“It’s been a few years, since college,” Sonny admits with a shrug. 

“Yes, I’ve done this before,” Rafael says in a small moment of sincerity. “You don’t need to treat me like this is my first time.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Sonny says softly. 

“I like a little pain. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” 

“You trust me?” 

“I have no idea why, but yeah, I do. I really do, Sonny.” 

Admitting this means recognizing that this level of connection, of _intimacy_ is entirely new and almost alarming for Rafael, even as two of Sonny’s long fingers are pressed inside him, tentatively brushing against his prostate. 

“Are you ready?” Sonny asks, after a few minutes of scissoring his fingers to prepare Rafael to take him. When Rafael nods, Sonny flips Rafael over in one smooth motion. “I want to see that gorgeous face when I wreck your world, huh?”

Without breaking eye contact, Sonny rolls the condom on and adds a liberal amount of lube to his cock and Rafael’s hole. He lines himself up and pushes in slowly, nearly overwhelmed by the heat and tightness that immediately engulf him. 

“God, you’re so _big,_ Sonny,” Rafael groans as Sonny bottoms out. “You feel so fucking good.” 

“I do fit nicely, huh?” Sonny smirks, pausing as Rafael adjusts to Sonny’s size. 

“Like a—oh, _fuck_! Like a puzzle piece.”

“Didn’t think you’d be such a romantic, Rafael.” 

“I’m not. Fuck me, Sonny, come on,” he whines, pushing his hips downward on Sonny’s dick. “I’m ready. Fuck me.” 

“Oh, that’s _pretty_ ,” Sonny marvels, slowly grinding his hips. 

“Don’t call me pretty,” Rafael says, his voice strained. 

“Not saying you’re pretty. The noises you make are pretty. Your mouth. It’s filthy, but it’s so, so pretty.”

Sonny runs his thumb along Rafael’s swollen lips and snaps his hips, drawing a moan from deep within Rafael’s throat. 

“That’s it,” he groans. “Do that again.” 

“Gonna make more pretty noises for me, Rafael?” 

“If you fuck me like that, I’ll do anything you want, Sonny,” Rafael breathes. 

He reaches up to run his hands through Sonny’s hair, stopping to caress his face fondly, paying special attention to his mouth, which was frozen in a soft ‘O.’

“Anything? Be careful what you promise me, Rafael. I might keep you around.” 

“Oh yeah? You couldn’t keep up with me,” Rafael says, meeting Sonny’s thrusts with slow, deliberate rolls of his hips, nailing his prostate with each downward movement. 

It’s a challenge. Sonny takes it in earnest, hooking Rafael’s legs around his waist and planting his hands firmly on Rafael’s hips to gain more leverage, to push even deeper and draw even sweeter whines from Rafael’s throat. 

“Gonna make me come, Sonny,” Rafael chokes out. 

“Yeah, God, please. I wanna see you come for me. You’re so beautiful. So fuckin’ beautiful.” 

“Touch me. Touch me, Sonny,” Rafael whines. 

They’re both panting heavily. Sonny nods and takes Rafael’s cock, red and leaking against his stomach, in his hand and strokes in time with his thrusts, which are getting more erratic by the second as he approaches his own orgasm. 

“I’m gonna—” 

“Yes, fuck, me too.” 

They groan at the same time, looking deep into each others’ eyes. Rafael spills between them as Sonny’s strokes coax him through his orgasm. At the same time, Sonny’s hips stutter, and he releases inside of him, and they both wish he wasn’t wearing a condom. As he struggles to catch his breath, Rafael looks from Sonny’s eyes to his stomach, which is covered in come, to their hands, which are entwined next to Rafael’s head.

Never has Rafael ever reached climax at the same time as his partner. Never has anyone saying his name made his stomach tighten, his heart jump, his cock twitch. _Never_ has anyone made him feel as good as Sonny, from the moment he met him to the moment they came together. Sonny leans down and captures Rafael’s lips in a kiss with a tenderness that wasn’t there earlier in the night. 

“Are you okay?” Sonny asks, pulling out and discarding the condom. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, that was— the best sex I’ve ever had.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Sonny agrees, leaning over to kiss Rafael on the cheek before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom, returning moments later with a wet cloth, which he uses to wipe the mess from their stomachs. 

“Thank you,” Rafael says softly. 

“You’re welcome. I _am_ a gentleman.” 

Sonny smiles widely at Rafael, and they lock eyes. 

"Are you going to stay?” Rafael asks. 

He can’t recall ever feeling more vulnerable, even when he lost his virginity to a boy he hardly knew but thought he loved in an unlocked bedroom at a fraternity party at Harvard. 

“If you want me to.” 

“Do you want to?”

"Do you want me to?” 

“Stay,” Rafael says, finally. “Please.” 

“Okay.” 

They kiss again, and Sonny takes Rafael into his arms— _we fit like puzzle pieces_ , he thinks— and they fall asleep, soft and warm against each others’ bodies. 

When Rafael wakes up the next morning, the bed is cold, and Sonny is long gone, leaving behind a lingering feeling of pleasure and the vague memory of nirvana. 

Rafael forgets his face and his name, but for the next ten years, he chases that high, the way that dumb boy from Staten Island made him feel, made him laugh and dance and _touch heaven_. 

If Rafael were accustomed to talking to therapists, he’d have worked it out a long time ago. After that night with Sonny, he dissociated and never truly returned to his body, moving through his days in a gray haze, searching. He appears in colorful flashes...the boy who fit like his missing puzzle piece.

About once a month, without fail, Rafael would have a dream about this nameless, faceless boy. Whether he’s alone or sharing his bed with a partner, this boy comes into his dreams— worms his way in, never a name or a face, just the feeling of _wholeness_ — and takes him to heaven again, just for the night, and he’s gone in the morning, leaving Rafael with a hollow feeling in his chest. And then Rafael will spend the month after that, chasing that feeling in other nameless, faceless bodies. They’re never _his_ boy, the one who makes him ascend, so he always leaves. He can never justify staying, not really, not when he’s not whole. So he leaves and sleeps alone, learning to be content in solitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra special thanks to pan_icking and hanzios for their kind words and support!


End file.
